Wishing you were somehow here again
by laumae
Summary: Jack is murdered in front of Sam, and five years later she is still struggling to cope. What might have been but was lost? Sam will never know, and she must survive one day at a time. AUthe end is finally up, and it's happy beleive it or not! major js.
1. Default Chapter

Author: Laumae Email: Category/Pairings: Romance, Sam/Jack. Tragedy, character death, song fic Season: in the future, none of season eight happened nor did anything after heroes.  
Rating: pg Content Warnings: minor graphics Summary: Jack is murdered in front of Sam, five years later she is still trying to cope.  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, names, titles, they belong to mgm, gekko, etc.  
Author's Note: Character death. no full fledged flames please. thanks to Caybalina and Cathain Nottingham for catching my mistakes, and correcting them, also known as betaing. lol. If you want me to respond to your email please email me from your email account not fanfiction's review. thanks

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Sam awoke feeling anguished. Today was going to be a bad day. She had them occasionally, and everyone around her accepted them with out question. Only two of her friends knew the reason for her mourning, and the rest were just so used to it they didn't care why. Five years ago today was when it happened- when Jack died.  
  
She rolled over trying to make the pain go away. A flash back siezed her. She was in the battle field barely able to stand , fighting to get back to the gate, then she saw it, Jack was hit in the head. He fell instantly. She called to him, and collapsed. Sam screamed.  
  
She sat there trying to concentrate, trying to wake herself from this nightmare. She hugged herself, unwillingly recalling how this happened. It was a standard meet and greet. They were going to exchange food and medical supplies for naquadah from a less advanced species when they were suddenly bombarded by a goa'uld ha'tak in orbit. They were surrounded, they had no where to go. Sam and Jack fought to get to the gate but it was hopeless, Jaffa were attacking them from all sides. Teal'c and Daniel made it, with no problem, or relatively none, but Jack had been killed, and she had seen it. The love of her life and been shot through the head, and she saw it. She instantly fell and called for him, trying to crawl to him. She reached him and cradled his remains. She was horrified, she couldn't stop shaking. A goa'uld approached her.  
  
She stood tall and shouted to him, " Kill me!" She sobbed, begging this monster to ease her suffering, but instead he laughed wickedly at her. Rings surrounded her; she became a prisoner of Anubis. She had been trapped for months on his ship, tortured and then revived countless times. When she was finally rescued she was so screwed up inside she didn't even recognize Daniel or Teal'c. She was scared of everyone, scared they would kill her, just like everyone else. She was constantly plagued by flash backs, she watched Jack die thousands of times. Screaming in exactly the same way each time.  
  
After three months of being on base, and basically wandering around the entire time. General Hammond ordered something to be done. Sam couldn't think straight, she wasn't a scientist any longer and she was terrified of everyone. He left the decision to Daniel and Teal'c about what to be done.  
  
The next morning, as always, Sam sat alone in the comissary fighting back flashbacks and chatting with an imaginary Jack in her head. He was the only person she trusted, and he wasn't even real. She knew she needed help, she knew she had lost it, and she resented everyone for it.  
  
This particular morning Daniel sat next to her. She had had a hard time with flash backs that morning and was too tired to fight anything. Instead of talking, Daniel wrapped his arms around his hurting friend. No one had shown love to her of any kind in seven months. She collapsed in his arms, and sobbed.  
  
Daniel started crying too. They sat there crying for at least half an hour. Sam realized that her friends still loved her,  
even if Jack was gone. She still had a life worth fighting for, but she didn't want too. She wanted to curl up and die for one last time. Then Daniel said something that helped her icredibly, "Sam, we need you back. We miss you, come back to us."  
  
She had fought herself everyday since, she had foght to regain her sanity and suceeded, for the most part. A day never passed when she didn't ache for Jack to come walking through the door, but she knew that people needed her so she would struggle to stay sain. She struggled with depression and had eventually had to go on some heavy antipsicotic meadicine. A year after Jack had died, she met a some one new, a little girl who needed her more than anyone else.  
  
There had been another battle, but not as bad. One of the men in the battle who had died had a wife and a newly born daughter at home. When news of her husband's death hit her, she went through the same thing Sam did, only coupled with a terrible illness. She refused to eat, she refused to drink. A week after complete misery she died with her baby in her arms in the infirmary. Sam had taken a special interest in her, having gone through the same thing. When the mother had stopped producing sufficient milk (three days after not eating) Sam took the child into her own care. She grew to love the child intensely, and after her mother's death, she took her as her own daughter. Grace, as she was named, was only a month old when Sam adopted her. She was now four years old, and Sam worked part time as a scientist again at the SGC to spend as much time as possible with her.  
  
She had finally regained control of her mental abilities and had started to become the old Sam they all missed. She suffered flash backs not nearly as often, and could write coherent papers again. She opened her eyes, and came back to reality. She was alive now, and she had to stay that way for sweet little Grace. She looked up and saw that Grace was at the door, staring at her.  
  
"Hey sweetie." Sam said trying not to cry.  
  
"Mommy what's wrong?" She asked innocently. Sam broke down, and gave in to the tears. It had been five years but she missed Jack more than ever. He would've been a great dad for Grace, but he wasn't there. Grace crawled on top of her mom's bed and held her mom's hand.  
  
"I'm sorry," She paused trying to breathe, " I miss him, darling. I wish he were here."  
  
"Who, mommy?" Grace asked, with her inquisitive little attitude.  
  
"How about I make you some breakfast and I'll tell you afterwards ok?" Sam asked, her voice cracking.  
  
"All right."  
  
Sam tried to stand up, but was feeling very dizzy. She managed it, and lifted her daughter off the bed. Holding her hand she led her into the living room and handed her a book with lots of pictures. Sam made their breakfast and called Grace to the table. Grace was a fabulous little girl. She already read, and dressed herself. Her sense of fashion could use some help, but she was an incredibly intelligent child. She thirsted for information and, when provided, ate it greedily. Even though Sam wasn't her biological mother, she wanted to follow in Sam's footsteps and become a great scientist.  
  
She came to the table and sat down, waiting for her mother to settle in before starting their meal. It was a silent breakfast, and Grace knew that if she asked no questions currently all her questions would be answered later. When they had finished, Grace grabbed both of the plates and forks and put them in the sink, then taking her mother's hand and leading her to the couch, she sat down and asked, "Mommy, who is he?"  
  
Sam sighed, "He was a very good friend of mine. He was killed a year before you were born."  
  
"Who murdered him?"  
  
Sam wasn't sure how to respond, " You know the Goa'uld? Well, we were in a battle with them, and one of the jaffa, wich is one of their sodiers, killed him, then captured me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because they are very bad guys."  
  
"Did they hurt you too Mommy?"  
  
"Yes, dear."  
  
"What was his name?"  
  
"Jack."  
  
"What was his last name?"  
  
"O'Neill. He was Colonel Jack O'Neill. You've heard of him before. He is the one they are trying to build a statue to."  
  
"What does Colonel mean?"  
  
"It is a title, just like doctor, for example I am Major Samantha Carter. One step below Colonel. Jack was my superior. Which means that whatever he told me to do I did."  
  
"So your my superior?"  
  
"In a way, yeah, very good."  
  
"Why do you miss him?"  
  
"Because he was my friend."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"He was a very good man, he served his country selflessly and gave his life in it's defense. He loved to make jokes, and it is the opinion of unkle Danny that the one thing he loved most in the world was my smile."  
  
"Why? Why did he love your smile and not Unkle Danny's?"  
  
"Jack loved me." She said simply. Grace looked wide eyed, her mother had been in love just like Beauty and the Beast.  
  
"You were in love? Just like Beauty and the Beast?"  
  
"Yes and no. I loved Jack, and I admired him very much, but it never worked out."  
  
"Why? Love always works out."  
  
"I wish it worked like that Grace, but it doesn't. You remember that I told you he was my superior?" Grace nodded, "Well, the Air Force has rules to protect it's members, and in my line of duty if a superior has those feelings for a subordinate it can endanger their lives. It was breaking the rules to love Jack, and in turn for him to love me. Do you understand?"  
  
"Yes, you weren't allowed to be in love. Why would a place make rules to stop love?"  
  
"To protect us dear, I'll try to explain when you're older." Sam said shaking her head, looking at her watch she realized they were late for day care. "Time to go." She said grabbing her and her daughter's coats. When they were all ready, they drove to the daycare. Sam got out and hugged her dear little girl and said good-bye. That was the day care where most of the children of SGC personnel went. Daniel and Sara's son went their too, up until he entered kindergarten last august. Grace missed playing with little Jack, but she had other friends. She was a very popular little girl.  
  
Sam drove home and collapsed on the couch, pulling out her cell she called General Tress and told him she would have to stay home today. He understood and gave her leave.  
  
Another flashback siezed her, this time of when her and Jack had been in battle together three years before he died. She had been severely injured in her right shoulder, it had barely missed her heart. Jack had screamed just like she had done, he ran to her, and brought her behind a rock for safety while fighting the remaining goa'uld. When the scourge had ended they safely returned home.  
  
She was so drained. She turned on her CD player, seeking something to distract her. Wishing you were here came on.  
  
You were once my one companion.  
you were all that mattered.  
You were once a friend and father-  
then my world was shattered...  
  
Jack had died, and left her to sink into a deep depression. Seeing him murdered put her over the edge, and she couldn't come back for a long time. He had been the only man she could love. Her life revolved around him, no matter how hard she tried to seek other avenues of life.  
  
Wishing you were somehow here again.  
wishing you were somehow near.  
sometimes it seemed,  
if I just dreamed,  
somehow you would be here...  
  
She missed him incredibly, she wanted him back in her life, in any way. She wouldn't care if it was only in her mind; she longed to see him again. She could still remember remember every line, every grey hair, and every time he smiled.  
  
Wishing I could hear your voice again.  
knowing that I never would.  
Dreaming of you won't help me to do All that I dream I could...  
  
His voice echoed in her ears, commanding, endearing, sometimes even caring. She remembered so much about him; he was almost alive to her.  
  
Passing bells and sculpted angels,  
cold and monumental,  
seem,for you the wrong companions-  
you were warm and gentle...  
  
The plans were already started to make a monument to Colonel Jack O'Neill in the entry way to the SGC. They had gone public by now, and the entire world knew and respected the memory of Col. O'Neill. But no matter how good of a job that they did on his statue, it could never be him. It could never catch his essence properly.  
  
Too many years fighting back tears.  
Why can't the past just die...?  
  
Those same tears sprung to her eyes. The past lived on in her memory, and took her into it's life by violent flashbacks. Why couldn't it just leave her be, why did it continue to plague her? Why couldn't it just die?  
  
Wishing you were somehow here again.  
knowing we must say goodbye...  
  
Even if Jack could come back again, he would have to leave again. They still couldn't ever be together. But that wasn't worth considering, she just wanted to talk to him one last time.  
  
Try to forgive.  
teach me to live.  
give me the strength to try...  
  
She fought to keep her life, she fought the lonliness that surrounded her constantly. If Jack were there he could teach her how to deal with it. He had lived through his son's death, and he knew what it felt like. He'd know what to do, and would teach her in a heart beat if he could.  
  
No more memories,  
no more silent tears.  
No more gazing across the wasted years.  
Help me say goodbye...  
  
Help me say goodbye.  
  
She sobbed. She needed to let go. Jack was gone, and yet she clung to his memory. She could see him right there, smiling, joking. But he wasn't, he would never come back. She missed him, more than ever. He would've loved Grace, he could've been a great father again. Her phone rang, but she wouldn't answer it. No matter who it was, she couldn't handle talking. She needed Jack, but she had to stay strong, for Grace. Grace needed her too, Sam was her mother. -  
There will be a part two, and hopefully it will turn out happy. I am about half way done with it.


	2. What say ye

Title: Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again p2 Author: Laumae

Email: Romance, Sam/Jack. Tragedy, character death, song fic Season: in the future, none of season eight happened nor did anything after heroes. Rating: pg

Content Warnings: none

Summary: Jack is murdered in front of Sam, five years later she is still trying to cope.  
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, names, titles, they belong to mgm, gekko, etc. Archive: Author's Note: Character death. no full fledged flames please. Sorry for the mix up of the time line.

Sam rolled off the couch, and stood up. She got some water from the kitchen, and massaged her head. Crying always gave her a headache. She calmed down, and started her exciting routine of housework. Dust, sweep, fold, wash. . . . .she never thought she would be this type of mom, but now that she was she couldn't wish for a more fulfilling life, except one with Jack there too. She sighed and finished up the dishes.

Her phone rang, "Hello?"

"Hi, Sam! It's Sara."

"Oh Hey, how's everything going? Any new digs?"

"No, everything's the same with work. Daniel is going to through a party though next Friday, and we wanted to invite you, granted it's mainly for the kids, but you know another Adult to supervise is always good."

"Sure I'll be there, I take it I should bring Grace?"

"Of course, Jack is just bouncing off the walls to see her again, they get along better than any other kids I know of. Anyway, how are you today, Better I hope."

"I guess Daniel told you I called in sick today."

"Yeah, get lots of rest you wouldn't want to Grace sick would you?"

"No, well I've got to go, more house work to get to, I mean I need lots more rest."

Sara laughed, "Ok, well I'll see you later."

"Bye Sara." she hung up. She went to go make her bed, and check her daughters normally pristine room. This morning Grace had gotten some toys out, apparently while waiting for mommy to get up. Sam picked up and vowed to herself to talk to Grace about it,  
when she picked her up at four. She glanced at the clock, it was already 1:30.

She fixed herself a ham sandwich and sat down to a very quiet meal. She remembered Team meals out in the field. She smiled in the warm memory.

"No Jack I do not want to taste you meal." Daniel said firmly.

"You T?"

"No."

"Don't even think about it, " Sam said before he could ask.

"C'mon Daniel, it doesn't taste like Chicken I swear."

" Fine Jack." He said taking a bite of the Macaroni and Cheese, then promptly spitting it out. He grabbed his water bottle rinsed his mouth out. " Man Jack, what is that?"

"I think it's cat food." he said eating some more of his unappetizing meal.

Her phone rang again.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Sam Carter?"

"Yes it is, who's calling?"

"I'm Sara O'Neill, Jack's ex wife. . . . Hello?"

"Uh, sorry, what are you calling about?"

"Well I was contacted about the statue their building for Jack, and I really didn't know him in his last years, so I called the Sgc to see who I should sign over the rights to. General Tress told me to talk to Dr. Jackson, and he said that you should really be the one to have the rights."

"Ok, um should we set up an appointment at the Sgc, and get the rights changed there?"

"I was thinking about a court. I really don't want to officially be Jack's only surviving relative, it just brings back too many memories, but if we could make it official that in all matters concerning Jack it's you that should have the rights over his name etc."

"Sure. I already I have all of his stuff."

"Ok, well I'll call the courts, and set an appointment. I assume you have evidence for your claim to being the closest person to him while he was alive?"

"Yeah, I as his subordinate for at least 10 years."

"No one told me that, I just assumed you were his girlfriend. Sorry about the mix up."

Sam took a deep breath, " No that fine, just call me back with the details for the court date."

"Nice to meet you Sam."

"You too, bye." She sat down on the couch and called the Sgc. "Hello may I speak with Gen. Tress please?"

"Sam what's up you already called in."

"I know , sir. Could you fax me the proof of my subordination to col. O'Neill prior to his death?"

"Of course, but may I ask why?"

"Oh Mrs. O'Neill just called me asking to transfer the rights over Jack's things and name to me, She doesn't want to deal with the statue, so I have to prove that I was close to Jack for the courts."

"I thought I told Daniel to do that?"

"I know, but he said I should be the one to, Thanks."

"No problem Major." He hung up.

Sam sighed, why today of all days. She was already cried out, and decided a hot bath would be best.

Grace hopped up on the couch, and gazed out the window. It was half an hour before her mom was supposed to pick her up.

"Grace, dear, she won't be hear for a while, are you sure you don't want to read a book while you wait?"

"Yep I'm sure. Thanks though."

Susan shrugged, "Ok." She sat down beside Grace with Daniel's youngest daughter on her lap. Daniel's daughter was named Emily, she was only 6 months old, she had an older sister who was 3, and of course her brother Jack was already in school. She rocked Emily back and forth, glad she was finally asleep.

"Hey Susan have you ever heard of a guy name Colonel Jack something?"

"Of course, you know who that is ,dear. That's the hero that they're building the statue of, and the man that Daniel named little Jack after."

"Yeah I know that, but have you ever heard anything about him and mommy?" She pursued.

Susan felt uncomfortable, of course she had heard about Jack and Sam but Grace wasn't supposed to know about that yet. Sam had said that she was going to wait until Grace was older to tell her. "What do you know about that Grace?"

"Mommy told me this morning that her and Jack were really good friends, and she was crying because she missed him so bad. She said that she wasn't supposed to love him.  
Susan what was wrong with Mommy loving Jack?"

"Well, I'm sure she told you that it could harm them."

"Yeah, but why?"

" Well if they loved each other Jack would focus on her instead of focusing on the group, and that would be bad." Susan tried to explain, but she wasn't entirely sure how much of that a four year old brain could grasp.

"ok." Grace said and turned around from the window.

The Klaxons blared. General Tress went to the control room. "I didn't think we had any appointments today."

"We don't sir," Agreed Walter.

"Well then, shut the iris." Tress's voice was harsh, how many times did he have to tell Walter, 'use your discretion', or was Walter really that dumb.

"I'm trying sir, but it's not working. . . ." A robed figure came through the stargate.

There were men in the room with guns already trained on him.

The figure held out his hands so they could see that he had nothing. He put down his hood.

"What the"

Sam got out and dried herself, she was definitely in there too long. She sighed and started making some coffee. She glanced at her watch, time to get Grace. She arrayed herself in appropriate child-picking- up clothes, and drove her minivan to Susan's.

"Hey look who's here Grace!" Susan said opening the door.

"Who is it! Is it Mom?" Asked Skyler another kid.

" No Cassie's not here yet, but Sam is."

Grace hopped off the couch and out the door. "Mommy!"

"Oh, Grace Honey!" She said picking up her daughter and twirling her around." Let's go in side it's cold out here!"

"Hey Sam." Susan said when they were back inside. Sam was putting on Grace's coat.

"Hey Susan, how was she today?"

"Very well behaved, she was anxious to see you. Can I speak to you a moment in the kitchen Sam?" She said leading Sam away from the children.

"What's up?"

"Well, she told me about what you guys talked about this morning. Are you Ok Sam? She said you were crying."

Sam looked upset, " How'd you-"

"It's ok, Cassie told me. She hasn't told any one else though, promise."

"I'm fine, I was just having a bad day. Sara called about the rights"

"Jackson?" Susan looked confused.

" No, Sara O'Neill, Jack's ex. She doesn't want the Hassle of having the rights to his name, and the statue and everything. She asked me if I would be willing to take the rights instead."

"Oh, Sam I'm so sorry. So she isn't willing to remember the loss of her son which is like 20 years old, but she will make you face something that still rips you apart, oh that's nice." Susan huffed.

"Susan, she doesn't know. She never knew about me. When Daniel gave her my name she said she thought that I was his girlfriend, but then she found out I worked for Jack and in her mind I am just a work mate of his facing a minor five year old wound. She lost her son, her only son."

"I know, but you shouldn't have to go through this."

" Don't worry about it, Susan. Listen I gotta go, I promised Grace I'd take her to a movie tonight."

"See ya later Sam."

"Mommy, your phone is moving." Grace called from the back seat.

"Oh you mean it's vibrating. It's ok honey, I told it to do that. That means that some one is calling me."

" Who's calling?"

" I don't know."

"Aren't you gonna pick up?"

"Nope, good girls don't talk on the phone while driving, it's dangerous." They pulled into their drive way, and Sam grabbed her phone..

"Mommy, aren't we going to a movie?" Complained Grace.

"Yeah, but that's in 2 hours dear, don't you want dinner?" She asked rhetorically answering the phone, "Hello, Major Carter."

"Hello Sam, this is Tress, I think you should- Daniel be quiet!" Tress said irritated.

"Sam get your butt in here right now!" she could hear Daniel yelling.

"General, I have Grace right now, I can't just leave her."

"You'd better bring her in here too then. I don't know why this can't just wait until the morning though."

" Sam it's urgent get in here!" Daniel continued yelling.

"I'm on my way sir," she laughed. "Hey Grace, we're going into the base ok. You get to see Mommy's work."

"What about the movie?"

"There's time, come on." She said putting Grace back in her seat.

"We thought you were dead, why didn't you contact us?" Daniel questioned the robed figure.

"I was the only survivor, the goauld have been on my tail, at least they were until you guys took them out 3 years ago, and I've been trying to find a stargate ever since." Narim answered.

"Well we just called Sam in, I figured she would want to see you, Tress was going to make her wait until tomorrow, but I remember you guys being pretty close."

"Sam!" Narim's eyes lit up. "I was given a message for her, but I didn't figure she was still working here. I do look forward to seeing her again, her beautiful face, her lovely eyes."

Daniel turned around, Narim was always too much of a sap, " Right well, she'll be in soon. What was the message you have for her?"

"Oh, I ran into Oma Desala, and she said the furlings have returned, and they bring a special gift for her."

"When did you hear that?"

" A few days ago, why?"

" I just wonder what that gift could be. I suppose you heard about Jack?"

" Col. O'Neill yes, that was distressing news, I hope the sgc didn't take it too hard."

" Sam was destroyed, they were very close when he was alive. She still struggles with it, so don't mention it to her when she comes in." the door opened and Tress came in.

"Daniel, Sam's here." Daniel left the room and met her.

"DANIEL!" Grace called jumping on him.

"Hey Daniel, why did you tell Sara to call me? Couldn't you have handled it?"

"Oh, I completely forgot about Mrs. O'Neill, I didn't think she would call for another week or so, I was planning to tell you at work today, but you stayed home. . . Because of . . . . I can't believe she called you today, I'm so sorry."

"It's ok, now what surprise do you have for me?"

"Oh, we have a special visitor for you, maybe he'll cheer you up."

Sam looked puzzled. Daniel led her into the room, with Grace in his arms.

"Daniel I see you have kids." Narim remarked.

"Well, yes, but she's Sam's." he said as Sam walked in. Narim stood up awed.

" You look even more beautiful than I remember."

"Narim!" Sam smiled, " I thought you died like ten years ago." he embraced her, which made her feel very uncomfortable.

"I am still quite alive although all my other people are gone. How've you been these past few years, I see you have a child, the Father is a very lucky man."

" Grace is wonderful." Sam said, Daniel put Grace down so she could go to her mother. "Grace Sweetie, meet Narim, an old friend of Mommy's. I thought he died a very long time ago in a battle, but he's still alive, and that makes mommy very happy."

"Hi Narim, that's a weird name."

"Hello Grace, and on my planet Grace would also be a weird name."

"You mean you're an alien!"

"Indeed I am."

"Wow. Mommy was Jack an alien too?"

Sam looked down at her daughter with sadness, " No dear, he was a human like us."

"That's too bad, if he was an alien then maybe he could come back just like Narim did,  
and then you could be happy for ever."

"Sweetie, please don't speak about Jack around others ok?" Sam said quietly to her daughter. Grace nodded.

"So Narim how did you get here?" Daniel intervened.

" As I told you previously a few days ago I found Oma Desala, and she sent me to a planet with a usable stargate, it took me a while to build a device to go through your iris, then I came here. By the way, Oma Desala told me that the Furlings were coming, and that they bring a gift for you Sam."

"The Furlings? Do you know when they are supposed to arrive?"

"Soon is all I know." Narim shrugged.

"What would the Furlings even know about me?" Sam pondered.

"Maybe the Furlings watch you? Just like the Asguard." Grace offered.

"Yes, but why me, why not Daniel?"

"I think it's because you prettier, Mommy."

Sam laughed.

"Grace has a point, Samantha. It does seem that the Furlings have been monitoring our existence for quite some time."

"Sam, do you remember my grandfather?"

"Of course I do, he was a hoot."

"Well, maybe. . . "

"Maybe what, I don't understand, what's going on?" Narim asked in his sick sweet manner.

"Daniel's grandfather is an emissary to an advanced alien species, we believe they might be the furlings, they've never told us their name." Sam explained.

"Are they furry?" Asked Grace.

"Not these aliens, these aliens are big and look kind of like ghosts."

"I don't think they could be the furlings. Furlings gotta be small and furry, not big and scary." Sam smiled, Jack had said something very similar.

"I miss my grandpa, even if we were estranged before he left."

"I can identify with that feeling. I'm the only one left of an entire race of sentients."

"That must be very hard, Narim." Sam said softly.

The door opened and broke the solemn mood that had descended upon the room. Janet walked in.

"Narim! It's been so long. Are you ready for your check up?" She said cheerily.

"Yes, Dr. Fraiser I believe I am." He bowed and followed the doctor out.

"You do know that you left him believing you're married right Sam?"

"I don't need him chasing me right now, Daniel, he'll find out soon enough. Grace are you ready for that movie?"

"Mmm-hmm, but I'm hungry."

"Ok, well we'll stop by Wendy's on the way."

"Ok, Mommy." Sam stood up and picked up the little girl.

"Care to join us?"

"nah, Promised Sara I'd get home as soon as possible,"

"Daniel, you don't have to stay behind to debrief Narim with me, I think I've got it covered." Tress told Daniel.

"Thank you sir, I guess I'm off. C'mon I'll walk you to car Sam."

"Thanks Daniel."

" How was the movie?" Asked Daniel the next day when they both arrived on Base.

"It was a kid movie." She grinned. "Today I've got so much to catch up on, I guess Sg5 picked up some interesting technology yesterday, and then there's all the advancement that Narim is offering. Now I have to convince Tress that there are more qualified people available to work with Narim. For example Dr. Gonzalez." Sam said with a bit of her old spirit.

"Monica?" Daniel laughed, "Even with all of her beauty, I doubt even she will turn his head. You'll be stuck with him when he finds out you're not married."

"Happy thoughts Daniel, get some coffee."

"Sara won't let me have more than three cups a day anymore"

"You poor dear."

Sam walked into her office and went to work. Daniel left her in peace, and got to his own work

A few hours later Janet came in to see her.

"Hi Sam." she said closing the door.

"Janet, what's up?"

"I hear you skipped work yesterday, everything ok?"

"I was just having a bad day. I dreamt about him the night before last, then all the flash backs. . ."

Janet rubbed her back, "It's ok, Sam. You're getting better, you really are, some day this will all be a thing of the past."

Sam sat down, "I know, but sometimes, I just I want to go back, when everything was so simple. I had rules to follow and that was it. Now I'm a mom, and I love it, but it so much harder than any thing we ever had to do. I never thought I'd be doing it alone."

"I know what you mean, it's hard work. You can talk to me about it. If you're not doing so well, I'd be more than happy to take Grace for a few hours for you. I know Cassie loves spend time with her, and her kids get along so well with Grace.  
And now that George is retired, we have plenty of time for Grace, if you ever need it."

"I know, I have you and Daniel, and Cassie, but it's not the same. I want someone to share it with. I want to share it with him."

"You have to let go of him Sam. Even when he was alive he wanted you to be happy, he didn't want to see this brilliant beautiful woman pining away for an aging Colonel. Now that he's gone, who are pining away for? You deserve to be happy, you deserve to let him go. Let his memory be in peace, cherish it, and start making your own memories"

"I know Janet." Sam sighed, she had heard it all before, and she would hear it again.

The weeks pasted quickly, and soon it became spring again. Grace turned five, and would be starting school in 4 months. Preparations had already begun for kindergarten, and Sam knew her Grace would be the best in the class.

Narim stayed with the Sgc, and gave them advanced technology at a very slow rate. He said he needed to protect them, and Sam had to agree with him. She had convinced Tress to let Gonzalez work with Narim instead of herself, and her plan had worked. Narim was dead gone for Monica, even when he did finally figure out that Sam wasn't married.

Sam worked anxiously in her lab. Teal'c was coming home for a visit. His family couldn't come with him, but he said he would be staying for three days. Sam was so excited, it had been two years since the last time he had visited, and she wanted to show off her beautiful five year old. Teal'c himself had a little one back on Chul'ak.

The Klaxons rang and Sam quickly made her way to the control room. Daniel beat her to it, and had on his best, "I'm not insanely excited" face.

"General, we're not receiving Teal'c IDC." He said closing the Iris.

"What?" Asked Daniel, " Who else could it be?"

There was a flash of light, and Sam was gone.

"Samantha, would you please tell them to lower the iris?" Asked Lya of the Nox.

"Lya! It's been so long. Of course, but can't you lower it yourself?"

"I can." she nodded, "But it would put your people at unnecessary uneasiness. "

"Oh, well, if you take me to where the stargate is, I can transmit a code that will open the iris."

"It is here," Lya motioned to behind Sam. Sam turned around.

In front of her was a giant stargate built with something that appeared to be crystal.  
It shimmered and reflected the blue. She put in her code.

"Where are we?" Sam asked breathlessly.

"We are on a ship."

"I've never anything like this before, not even your building resemble this."

"I know, this is a vessel of the furlings." Lya said subdued.

A port opened behind Lya and a young man came out and bowed to Lya. "So this is how I finally return? Not too bad. Major Carter, what a wonderful surprise. I remember you quite well."

"Who are you?" Sam asked.

"You don't recognise me? Well I guess I do look a bit younger, it's me Nicholas Ballard!"

"Daniel's Grandfather? But you look so much younger than him."

"I suppose I do. Now I guess Narim has already found you, and given our message?"

"The message, oh , yes, he arrived a few months ago."

"Good, good, I will tell the others to join us, and we shall return to earth." he started speaking or rather booming in an alien language, and 10 big ghost like creatures like the one they had met in the temple appeared, and then transformed into man like beings. They were elegantly robed, and looked similar and yet dissimilar to the nox.

They all bowed, and one stood taller than the rest.

"Major Carter, we meet again. It is a pleasure, but I'm sure you will be pleased with our gift. My name is Quetlezcoatl, and I am the leader of the furlings. I'm anxious to see your world, I assume Oma will be joining us?"

"Yes Quetlezcoatl, and Thor shall also be coming, We wish to represent all of the member races. I shall call them presently." Said Lya leaving the room.

"Nicholas, and Samantha, please go ahead of us, and announce our coming. You shall receive your gift in due time, do not be anxious Samantha." said Quetlezcoatl wisely. "I wish to meet the one you call Grace, can you bring her?"

"I can send for her." Sam said awed.

"Good, do so. Now if you will?" He gestured towards the stargate. Sam and Ballard went through.

"It's ok." Sam said putting her hand up at the gunmen," Daniel I believe you know this man.

Daniel shook his head, " No, I don't think so, but I've met allot of people."

"I should've known you couldn't recognize me, you always had your head those books,  
no time for real things. Oh Daniel, I was going to tell you that you were right about the pyramids, but now I see you don't care if I admit my fault."

"Nick?"

"AWW! You get it. My you look old."

"General, this is Daniel's Grandfather, and there are more coming. Oma, Thor, Lya,  
and 10 Furlings are on their way."

"Well don't just stand there, come on in." Tress said motioning for Nick and Sam to come into he control room.

"Sir, May I go to the surface and call Susan, I need Grace to come as soon as possible.  
Quetlezcoatl told me to bring her."

"Who?"

"The lead Furling."

"Oh, Permission granted Major." Tress said before returning his attention to Nick.

Sam got to the surface, and dialed Susan's number.

"Hello," Answered Susan.

"Hi Susan this is Sam, I need Grace to get here as soon as possible, can you bring her?"

"Well, Cassie is here right now, how about I send her instead?"

"That's fine, thanks."

"No problem, may I ask why?"

"I'll tell you about later, right now I'm kind of busy. Take care."

"You too, Sam, bye."

Sam put her phone gingerly back in her purse. She went to the main entry desk, and talked to the officer on duty.

"Hello, Officer this is Major Carter, When Cassandra Fraiser and Grace carter come in send them straight to the gate room. This is an emergency, they should be here with in half an hour."

"Yes ma'am just sign this vouch form." Sam signed accordingly.

"Thank you."

"Yes ma'am." he said returning to duty.

Daniel and Nick were talking up a storm when Sam finally made her way back to the control room.

"You mean I'm a great grandfather!" Nick was saying excitedly. Sam couldn't help but smile, Nick barely looked 25, nonetheless old enough to have great grandchildren.

"Yeah, and boy won't Sara be surprise when she sees you again!"

"Sara? You mean that tall cute scientist you drove away?"

"Nick!"

"No matter, so she actually came back to you, congratulations." he said patting Daniel on his head. Daniel was about to say something very appropriate, when the expected guests finally made their entrance.

Lya came first and bowed, "We have arrived." She said in her sweet voice. Someone tapped Sam on the shoulder, it was Cassie.

"Mommy what's going on?" whispered Grace. Sam picked her up so she could see.

"We're meeting a new race of aliens, sweetie."

Then Oma proceeded from the stargate in spirit form, and materialized next to Lya. Then Thor came next, and stood tall, "Today you meet the four races in their entirety,  
you have been granted a great honor people of Earth."

Quetlezcoatl came next. He was in the form of a man, but his raiment was like nothing previously seen by any on earth. It was majestic. "Tau'ri, people of earth, today we show you our greatest in a gesture of friendship, and good will. Look upon my people with honor and respect, you have proved yourselves not only trustworthy but also valiant, and for this we admire your young race. Come Brethren'." He ordered and on cue, one by one of the Furlings came forth until the whole company had arrived. The various habiliments were so different from anything on earth, and yet they had aspects like all earth cultures.

"Tau'ri we present ourselves to you today, we ask you, all four member races ask you,  
will you join us from now to eternity? Will you call yourselves our brethren, and share with us in all things, as we shall you?" 


	3. Fifth race

Title: Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again p3

Author: Laumae  
Email: Romance, Sam/Jack. Tragedy, character death, song fic

Season: in the future, none of season eight happened nor did anything after heroes. Rating: pg  
Content Warnings: none  
Summary: Jack is murdered in front of Sam, five years later she is still trying to cope.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, names, titles, they belong to mgm, gekko, etc. Archive: Note: Character death. no full fledged flames please.

Tress paced the briefing room floor. He ran his hands through his hair. He had called the President, but so far no response. It seemed the President was unavailable today, figures. He fervently hoped the government would side with him on this. He had taken leave of everyone else, they were wrapped up with the new alien species, so he had some time to himself. Quetlezcoatl had said something about a surprise for Sam, and wanting to see Grace. Tress dismissed it, to him the important new discovery did not go beyond meeting Daniel's grandfather.

He had lived through several alliances that claimed to serve a great purpose, but in all reality had trouble deciding what color to make their banner, none the less doing any thing useful. He doubted that this alliance would be any better. It would be like all of alliances, more rules and regulations, more restrictions to add to the overwhelming list of 'don'ts'.

He paused in his musings, I think this is why my marriage failed. He thought with unusual insight, and returned to his pessimism.

Being more of a politician than a warrior in this chapter of his life, he knew that they could not refuse this request; his only hope was the President. The President could say no, but that he doubted even more than the usefulness of another Alliance. If the President said no, any one aware of the decision would make sure he was never reelected.

He turned his attention to the crowd in the gate room. He had considered inviting them to a larger space, but he decided that the larger space would be put to better use easing his nerves. It wasn't every day that he had to inform the President of a world altering/shattering change.

He was glad about one thing, the world was no longer divided into several nations. It had finally been united under one government, with lots of subdivisions. It made it allot easier to push through changes, if the one man in charge of the world said it was a good idea, then it would happen. His phone rang.

"The children of your race have fascinated me to no end." Quetlezcoatl said watching Grace's inquisitive eyes.

"You're an alien, aren't you?" She asked reaching out her hand, "I'm Grace Carter, and I think that you have the most beautiful clothing I have ever seen."

Quetlezcoatl took her hand and patted it, "You are a very kind young girl, you will grow up to be more beautiful than even you could hope. Your heart is pure, young Grace, and you are as refreshing as a cool breeze on a summer day. It has been so long since I have had the pleasure of meeting a wonderful innocent mind like yours." He smiled warmly and let Grace's hand fall.

Grace stood mesmerized by his manner. "wow." she whispered.

"Grace what do you say when someone pays you a compliment?" Sam asked her daughter, Grace was usually quite good at remembering. Even in extenuating circumstances it was still good to remind children of their p's and q's.

"I'm sorry, I forgot. Mr. Furling, thank you very much for the compliment." Grace said curtsying. "You're very kind for saying that I've got a good heart, I think you do too." she smiled wide.

Quetlezcoatl laughed. After more conversation with the little wonder, he knew his time was running short. "Samantha, please forgive me. I had hoped to delay your gift until we had received word as to your nations will in regards to our alliance, but I sense unease in your commander, and I do not think that a short answer will come."

"You're giving mommy a gift?" Grace asked even more surprised, " That's so nice of you and you don't even know us."

"My dear Grace I believe I know you better than you may know yourselves. Samantha I hope you appreciate this, and I know you shall for it is hard to give, for much joy has it caused me. I shall return shortly through the Stargate, and then your anticipation will be satisfied." He said bowing, and standing in front of the Stargate. He opened it and walked through.

Tress grabbed the phone quickly.

"Gen. Tress of the SGC can you take a call from the President of the United Nations of Terra?"

"Yes sir." the phone line was transferred, "Good afternoon Mr. President." He said formally.

"General Tress, I have been contacted by you with a request to form an alliance with the infamous four major races. In a very brief meeting of the major world powers just moments ago, a unanimous decision was reached. Please inform Quetlezcoatl of our decision to agree to his proposal, and to join the alliance. Arrangements will be made for him to come to Washington as soon as conceivably possible. Do you have any questions General?"

"No sir, thank you sir. I shall inform you with his response." The stargate swooshed and Tress watched Quetlezcoatl walk through it. "Mr. President, the furling representative just left our world, but I shall tell him on his return."

"Good General, good bye." The president hung up. Tress wiped his brow, and returned to the gate room.

"Carter, where did he go?" Tress asked very anxiously.

"He said he was going to get my gift, but he'll be back soon. Don't worry, General everything will be fine."

"That's easy for you to say, you aren't answering directly to the President. Earth has decided to accept the Alliance."

Sam's face lit up, " Why do you look so upset? This is good news, we re going to be the Fifth Race!"

"I'm sure it's great, but I'll reserve judgment until we see the result."

"Mommy always tells me not to judge people, is it the same with things?" Grace asked arms around her mom.

"Not quite, dear, but you don't have to worry about that." Sam patted her back.

Daniel and Nick joined them. "Sam you have had quite the interesting life according to Daniel here! Astrophysicist, Mother, and the list goes on. . . " Nick trailed off as he began to notice how high the ceiling was in the room, "Wow that's a tall ceiling for being on Earth. Of course the furling's are bigger, but that's of no importance."

"I remember that the place we met them in was much larger." Sam said in agreement.

"Quite right, oh they use those crystal skulls for so many things now, and thankfully they keep radiation out of their dwellings when I am in their presence. They said the sight of you fainting was frightening, Samantha. There is so much to catch up on, now isn't there. I suspect there will still be things left to tell in twenty years." Nick would've babbled on longer except that the gate flushed and Quetlezcoatl returned.

Sam had avoided thinking of the gift until now. Her soul was wounded, it was half dead, what could a gift do to enhance her life? What could they possibly have to offer her? The Furlings were beyond anything she could've imagined. She knew what ever they had for her would be spectacular, but she could not fathom what that could be now. What did Quetlezcoatl mean when he said that it was very dear to him? Sam told her brain to stop thinking, and concentrated on the words flowing from Quetlezcoatl's mouth.

"Samantha and Grace please step forward to the base of the ramp." Quetlezcoatl directed. He stood at the top of the ramp and waited. Sam and Grace walked to the ramp, and waited for his next instructions.

Quetlezcoatl smiled at the two beings whom he admired greatly. The strength and kindness of these two humans overwhelmed him. It was from what he heard of Sam and Daniel that he had agreed to and even pushed for an alliance with men. They were jewels, and after meeting Grace, he reasoned that there were yet more precious ones to come. Even if Sam or Daniel, or even Grace, had been the only human worthy he would've done just as much for an alliance. Any race that could produce them was beyond worthy. Where once he would have only assumed that humanity was foolish and prideful, he had learned that there is more to them than that. There is kindness, and a true desire to better themselves. He would not deceive himself to the existence of bad men among Mankind, but he believed that with the alliance's influence they could train the world in the proper ways of rearing a child, and of cultivating humility, goodness, and selflessness. He bowed to the remarkable ones before him on the ramp, and stepping aside declared, "For the precious stone of mankind, your gift."

As a robed figure emerged from the stargate, the lights in the room shone on the highly reflective fabric of the robe and filled the room in a soft glow. It was white, as clean as snow and as soft as clouds.

Out of the sleeves came two hands, next those hands removed the heavy white hood from the visage, and the head of the figure appeared. Sam's heart caught in her chest, her stomach seemed to be trying out for the Olympics, and her lungs failed her. Even her soul began to bound with in her, and she felt an emotion akin to anxiety, and yet thrillingly hopeful. Sam could not believe that she was not dreaming. Her world narrowed, and for two seconds there were only two things in existance: Her gift, and herself.

The robe moved down the ramp to her. It's steps were awkward, as if the person directing them had just been hit. The eyes met her's and reflected back at her hope. The lips turned upwards in a smile, and a hand gently wiped a tear from her cheek.

Her world had been turned upside down, and now here he was after everything, alive and tangible right in front of her. As he watched her eyes, her life after his death flashed before her, the pain, the sorrow, and the horror. He saw it all translated by her eyes. Her life had greatly changed and darkened since the last time they had met. "Sam, come here." He said quietly, wrapping his arms around her compassionately. He stroked her hair as she gave way to sobs of joy, and started laughing.

"I never thought I'd see you again." She said smiling wide.

"It's over now, I'll never leave you again." he somehow pried her off his chest so that he could see her eyes. "Sam, I promise, I will never leave you. I will never leave you." He repeated for emphasis.

Sam looked up at him, and her face brightened. With out permission her hand touched his cheek, and his head leaned down and kissed her. Sam rested her head on his shoulder, and was content. She felt a hand touch her knee, and then she remembered the little one of her life.

"Jack," Sam said to the man holding her, "There's someone you need to meet." She broke from Jack, and turned her attention to a very confused Grace. Sam patted her daughter, and stepped behind her.

"Grace this is Jack O'Neill, Jack this is my daughter." She introduced them. Jack knelt down next to Grace and extended his hand.

"It's good to finally meet you." Jack told the little trembling girl. She nodded.

"You too." She looked at him in awe, "Are you an alien?" she asked solemnly.

Jack smiled, "No. I'm human, sort of." He smiled.

"Then how come you came back alive? I thought only Aliens could do that." Grace asked confused.

His eyes cheered, "Well, now that you mention it, I did have help from an alien." Jack said as Quetzalcoatl came down the ramp.

"Really? He must be a very nice alien."

"Yes he is." Jack stood up and patted the little girl's shoulder.

"Quetzalcoatl on behalf of the planet Earth, I have been authorized to inform you that earth has decided to accept your proposal. We will join the alliance and become the fifth race." General Tress bowed like a gentlemen.

-x-

Two days later the ceremony took place on Earth. The president represented earth as he was inducted into the alliance. A day after that, the president and the ranking officers of the sgc were invited to the ceremony on Nox. Lya initiated them there. After the ceremony, Jack led Sam away from the crowd and proposed marriage to her. Two months later they held their own ceremony in the gate room, and they were married.

The alliance new banner was blue with a gold trim. In the center one word was written in the five main languages: "Hope". As for the rest life went on.

-x-

The End! finally, this is my favorite story that I wrote for Stargate, it's the only one that is any good. :) although another window of oppurtunity had it's moments. anyway this is my second multichapter finished story. Thanks to everyone who read it. :)


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